Working with Couples
Relationships are difficult. The storybook version where people come together and everything works perfectly is never the reality. In fact, all relationships have some significant differences. Even in happy 20 year-long relationships, couples report having differences that they have not overcome. However, it is important to note that despite those differences, the couples are happy. Therefore, the secret to marital happiness is not in finding a person who is just like you, but, in learning how to live with the differences and find love with the person you are with.
People often attend couples counselling so that the counsellor can confirm that he or she has it right and convince their partner of the truth. I don’t believe that there is an absolute truth about how a relationship should work. Instead, my approach with couples is to help both partners to look at the problems they are facing as differences. Then, I work with the couple to bridge those differences in ways that works for that couple.